Nailed it!

Everyone’s seen those collections of Pinterest fails where bored stay-at-home moms try to copy the elegant food masterpieces that are so abundant online. I may have been guilty of this a few times here or there. It’s all good, though. Sometimes our attempts at elaborate dishes turn into a misshapen pile of barely-train-shaped cake covered in a hideously tinted blue frosting. The amazing thing is how no matter how truly difficult a dish is, they always make it look so easy.

Anyhoo this came to mind because I was attempting to offset the pizza that I ordered for dinner with some vaguely Asian fare tonight and came up with some fresh rolls. Which are more or less easy and delicious. But I pretty much did everything wrong. My rice wrappers were old and sort of disintegrate-y, my rice noodles were a few days old and really disintegrate-y. The shrimp were too small and tasted less than perfect. The cukes, carrots, and cilantro were fine, but I had no bean sprouts or mint, which might have been a nice touch. The first two rolls came out like a pile of barf. Everything fell apart and/or stuck together in all the wrong places. Eventually I sort of got in a flow and managed some loosely wrapped rolls full of flavorless filling and wet noodles, etc. They were more or less log shaped, and when dipped in Hoisin sauce and Sriracha, tasted okay. I gave myself a C- or a D+ for these rolls, and my husband didn’t even comment. So, yeah. Pretty much nailed it.

Tentacular Snacking

I get so nostalgic sometimes for Spain. Those ridiculously hot days spent sipping cervezas in the plaza and picking at a plate of octopus slathered in olive oil and sprinkled with smoked paprika. We always marveled at how the octopus was perfectly tender, and flavored just perfectly. I’ve cooked it myself a few times, and despite my best efforts, have ended up with too-chewy tentacles or squishy suction cups. I guess I never spent enough time tenderizing it by slapping the octopus on a rock for hours before cooking it.

Fortunately, someone does know how to cook it correctly. They just make you pay for it. I was walking around in Whole Foods the other day when I noticed some “quick-cooked” octopus tentacles in the seafood case. So I snagged a few. Yeah, they were probably way over-priced, but the benefit of this was that all I had to do when I got them home was slice them and add the finishing touches: olive oil, smoked paprika, Malden sea salt flakes, and a dash of lemon juice. Still not quite the same, but a nice quick substitute for a vacation in Madrid.